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| Illustration by Yee Shuen |
Walking into the classroom, beyond the streamer laden doorframe lied a group of giggling girls in a circle, light lofi music filled the air, there was drawings of flowers on the whiteboards and a small table with a vase of pipe cleaner lilies and tulips and a small stuffed bunny. You could feel the girly, light and elegant ambiance the second you stepped in, staying true to their red and white garden party theme. Girls from different ages, courses, circles gathered for a night of meeting others who they have more in common with than they think. The night opened with a poem by the event’s director and opening remarks by the club president, Puteri Naqeesya, basically welcoming the guest and conveying the purpose of the event, which is to build community and spaces that are safe for women.
Then came the activities, the first activity for the night was human bingo. Readily made sheets of paper with boxes filled with relatable items like “can sing and dance” or “has slept through a lecture”. Girls scurrying over to others trying to fill as many boxes as possible, unwarrantly finding commonality as they do so. At one point, girls stopped trying to get bingo and instead started trying to fill up every box, trying to talk to as many people as possible. Then for the next game, every girl chose a flower petal at random, petals of pipe cleaner lilies and tulips that were seen on the way in. After choosing, each girl was instructed to find others that had the same type of petal that they did and form small groups. Then it was revealed that each petal belonged to one flower and flower stems were given to each group who then needed to work together to make the flower whole again. It was a lesson in teamwork and being able to rely on your fellow woman. A reminder that maybe we need each other more than ever. After these activities, there was a time break. An assortment of cream puffs, biscuits and doughnuts sat on the table while every girl tucked into the sweet treats. While pouring ice cold tea, girls sat in circles, talking and getting to know each other. There were cream puffs and conversation full of honesty, laughter and bonds being formed.
The next activity was more personal and intimate. Each girl chose a piece of paper, each had a different question. From, what superpower you would want to what motivates you in your life or to describe an act of kindness that impacted you greatly or what you tell your teenage self or even how you recharge after a long day. Girls took turns sharing, being honest and true with their words. Some girls were shy but still spoke, knowing they were in a safe space. Others were sweet and truthful but every answer was accompanied by a round of applause and affirmations from the other girls, a true show of support.
For the last activity to end the night, the girls were divided into groups once again and given a question prompt on current issues regarding the uptick in violence against women. The events director described the recent stabbing case in a local high school where a boy stabbed a girl to death because she had rejected him. The misogyny that every Malaysian girl was now facing in excess had to be combated and this STF’s way of doing so. After internal discussion, one representative from each group presented an answer, given the room to speak freely and express their thoughts, ideas and sometimes frustration at the current world, but still hopeful for the future. The questions bred an in depth discussion on ideas like who really has the most influence when educating young people on these topics or whether or not our education system has proven enough to stop gender based violence, on why individual girls are scared to speak up sometimes. Some girls shared personal experiences with misogyny and others shared their own upset, passionately explaining the things that should be done to better protect every girl. The activity successfully cultivated meaningful discussion and acknowledgment of what has been happening with our community.
Later, when asked what the inspiration behind the event was, the events director, Sofiya, explained it was the recent rise in gender based violence in Malaysia, such as the, and since people are actively talking about it it seemed like a good time to have an event catered to creating a safe space for women on campus. The activities sought to find the balance between speaking out and being in your comfort zone, allowing girls the room to speak out without feeling too uncomfortable to do so, linking it back to the theme of the night. She expressed her favourite game was the petal hunt, for which she had handmade all the pipecleaner flowers, a labour of love indeed. The president expressed how she wanted a community that feels like a sanctuary for women, and fostered that community on campus while allowing those same women to feel empowered and know they are not alone. Despite some downfalls during the event, both the president and event’s director are quite pleased that they have managed to cultivate openness and emotionality during the event, and the solidarity and support born from it.
At a time where the world is a scary place for girls, She's The First gave girls a space to use their voices and feel at home. Maya Angelou once said each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women. When we think of women standing up for themselves or using their voices we always think it's in a protest, in an act of defiance, in rightful rage. But more often than not standing up for yourself as a woman is simpler. It's finding community, having compassion and comforting the women around you.
Every time a woman is being more than what everyone else expects her to be, she is making a difference. The fact that there is a community like She’s The First created and formed just for the sake of women having community and women holding each other, whether it's holding them up for the other’s success or holding them in comfort while the other cries. It's enough. It will always be enough.
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| Photo by Vharshaa |





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