Illustration by Emelyne

Starting a new chapter in life is never easy, especially when you’re transitioning from being a student to a “fully functioning” working adult. Frankly, it’s scary. A new environment, a new schedule—there are just so many things to adapt to and it’s not a piece of cake. In times of distress like this, there are a few key people you could potentially turn to. Maybe it’s a loved one or a passing stranger. However, it could also be an industry mentor. Well, if you’re interested in the media industry, you’re in the right place! Everybody, get ready to go on air! Come and learn insights on the media industry with Ms Jay Jamalina Mohamad Jamali, a veteran radio host and broadcast presenter.

About 20 years ago, Jay was a media rookie. In fact, she had no prior ambition to enter the media industry. Having studied Biology, Jay’s dream was to become a veterinarian but life had different plans. After wrapping up her studies, her father saw an ad on TV from the major media company, Media Prima. They were holding a competition to look for talents across the country to find the next broadcast journalist. That marked the beginning for Jay.

At first, she struggled greatly. Starting from zero, most of her training and knowledge came from her own determination and self-studying—some of which happened in a random stairwell next to a storeroom. Despite this though, Jay never gave up. She stayed resilient, a trait she emphasised as important in the media industry. In this new setting, Jay was more driven than ever. Having been a pioneering member of Media Prima’s first radio station, Hot FM, she wanted to expand her horizons further. That was when she started auditioning to become a news presenter for TV. Landing a news presenter role is not easy. Jay highlighted that to get accepted into a TV role, presenters generally require a certain look and voice. However, Jay persevered on. She went to audition after audition and finally struck gold. After three years of unwavering persistence, they gave her a chance. And decades later, to this day, she’s still on air as a news presenter. 

“It’s all in the voice”. The way you express a story or news, whether it be positive or negative, is of utmost importance for both radio and TV according to Jay. However, with TV, there are added layers to it. From your facial expression to the way you carry yourself, there are more things to be aware of—more outlets to express yourself and your emotions. Each story she has to present is different, making her emotions feel like a rollercoaster ride with highs and lows. Jay admitted that occasionally, she cries. Over the years, she has learnt how to run her emotions but certain stories, especially those about children, hit her like a truck, considering Jay herself is a mother. Keeping her emotions in check was an area Jay previously struggled with. This was a newfound benefit of being in the media industry for Jay. She loves being able to be in charge of her emotions. Jay says it truly comes in handy when dealing with unfavourable people or pressuring situations. Being patient and practising empathy with people around her has helped her stay level in her decision-making and leadership skills. 

Over the years, Jay has lived and learned. She stressed the importance of staying humble and not assuming you know more than others. Asking guidance from others and asking “silly” questions are essential for growing into the person you want to be. When she was still fresh-faced, she pushed herself beyond the limit. Working day to night, some days starting before the sun rises and ending after the sky darkens. One thing Jay has come to realise? Sleep is essential. “How am I supposed to be a team leader if I don’t feel my best because I didn’t get enough sleep”. Emphasising the importance of health, Jay is also a mental health aider at Media Prima Audio. Calming yourself down after a rough day, whether through deep breaths or an activity like yoga helps keep her grounded and ready for whatever’s to come. 

Being in the media industry is tough, you need a strong spirit to survive. Nonetheless, it continues to be extremely rewarding for Jay. She gets to be the messenger of news and stories, she’s the one who gets to announce them for the world to hear. It’s a very special role to play and it makes Jay feel happy and fulfilled. She loves delivering all sorts of news and stories to the public but a highlight for her is when she covers sports, particularly Formula One. Prior, Jay didn’t know anything about the realm of sports but to present news about it, she had to learn. From badminton, football, tennis and more, anytime she had to cover a sporting event, she would learn about the sport she was covering. Covering sports news is almost like a challenge that Jay loves! This is further apparent when she’s on the ground doing fieldwork. When announcing, you have to know technical terms relating to the sport well yet present it in a way that is easy for viewers and the public to follow. This never fails to excite her. Additionally, she loves gaining a new interest in an area she hasn’t previously explored beforehand. A notable example of this would be when she had to go to Sepang Circuit to cover a MotoGP (Grand Prix motorcycle racing) event. 

Additionally, Jay also kindly shared some tips and tricks for aspiring students:

Jay also shared some of her own insights—the importance of vocal techniques. Everyone doesn’t groggily wake up from bed only to have their voice ready to go. You have to warm up your voice, whether it’s first thing in the morning or on the way to work. The vocal exercises Jay shared were ideal for this. “Ka-Ga-Ha”, “Ma-Ma-Ma” and “Ya-Yo-Ye” are among the many keys to make sure your voice and enunciation are good to go! And the last? The one takeaway Jay wishes someone takes from her experience and life is to always be resilient, persistent and patient, in all that you do. “It goes a long way,” so don’t be afraid. Go for it because you never know what might happen when you try.

Even though many reading this are not currently studying to be in the media industry, I strongly believe much of the advice Jay shared can be applied to almost any field. In today’s competitive job market, a thought rings loudly, it’s common for fresh graduates and current students to feel intimidated when wanting to speak up or apply for an opportunity. Fear of getting reprimanded, disappointment and failure—these emotions and thoughts are normal for everyone, no matter the age. However, through Jay’s words and stories, it feels as if a big sister, who’s experienced multiple ups and downs in life, is guiding you, encouraging you to give it your all and try your best. So, it’s okay to fall a little, there will be people who will be more than glad to hold your hand to help you stand. I truly hope Jay’s personal experiences, advice and guidance have touched you all as it has touched me. In the future, I hope when you turn the pages back to this chapter in your life, you smile because it happened.

Eagerly waiting at UniSquare, Block A for the parade, the air was filled with excitement as a long line of different and colourful flags came into view. The event began with a speech from the project managers, introducing the theme ‘Unity in Diversity’. The ceremony kicked off with the traditional ‘kompang', and students danced along to the beat, setting the energy of the event. Shortly after, students dressed in traditional attire descended the stairs, proudly waving their flags and representing their respective countries.

Setting foot into the canopy at Block A’s Amphitheatre, you would think that you were stepping onto the world map. Booths of various countries were beautifully set up, allowing attendees to hop from one country to another in just a few steps. Jordan greeted visitors with fun facts on the Dead Sea - one of the saltiest bodies of water in the world where floating is effortless, and Petra - one of the Seven Wonders of the World. Moving on, Kenya shared stories about its famous "Big Five" safari animals: the lion, leopard, rhino, elephant, and buffalo. Students were trying traditional Kashmiri attire for photos, while Maldives awarded seashells from its beaches to game winners. Seashell necklaces and handcrafted candles made by students were also on sale.

Exploring further, Seychelles showcased its stunning beaches and the legendary Coco de Mer, while Mauritius highlighted its extinct Dodo bird and unique underwater waterfall. A burst of music marked the beginning of a traditional Mauritian Sega dance, drawing a crowd of enthusiastic dancers.

Day 2 saw the booths packed with eager attendees. Egypt attracted a large crowd, with everyone singing along to Arabic tunes and dancing together. At Saudi Arabia’s booth, visitors were treated to authentic coffee, and many posed for photos in traditional attire. You could also enjoy hot tea from Yemen, Kashmir, and Kenya, each offering a unique and delightful taste experience. The air was filled with a sense of camaraderie, enhanced by the aromatic bakhoor-a traditional gesture of hospitality in Arabian culture, where perfumed wood chips are passed among guests.

Sudan offered sweet treats such as ‘basboosa’ (made of semolina, yoghurt and syrup) and ‘kahk’ (sugar-coated tea biscuits). New Zealand invited attendees to take part in the fun tradition of "doing the shoey” which is a way of celebrating happiness. Students were hence served lemonade in a tiny shoe at the count of three. Zimbabwean students contributed another artistic touch to the event by doing white face painting, which is a traditional symbol of joy in their culture.

On the final day, the energy was at its peak. Egypt once again had everyone gathered, singing and dancing. Yemen treated visitors with honeycomb bread and Adeni Chai (tea). Students tested their skills with the Japanese Kendama toy, while China displayed traditional Lianpu (Chinese opera masks) and beautiful hairpins. Myanmar demonstrated the use of Thanaka (a natural beauty product) by applying it to visitors' faces. Indonesia hosted a Batik painting workshop, offering a hands-on cultural experience. South Korea presented traditional games such as Ddak-ji and Hol-jjak (odd or even) which were all present in the popular 2021 show called ‘Squid Game’.

Each day at 4 pm, students gathered at Speaker’s Corner for performances. Music played, requests were made, and students took turns singing into the mic. The 4 pm - 5 pm gathering was the most awaited, where students would circle around and dance together. It was never about the language barrier but rather about dancing to the rhythm of togetherness.

The event concluded with an award ceremony on the third day, acknowledging the passion, devotion and endeavour of the representatives in portraying their countries in the most beautiful way. The winners were as follows:

CNS Category:

Student Exhibition:

Special Categories:

A couple of attendees and participants even shared their thoughts on just how joyous and insightful the event was:

"This event is designed primarily for international students at Taylor’s University. With students from all over the world, it’s surprising how little we know about each other. The theme ‘Unity in Diversity’ reflects our goal of bringing people together to celebrate and learn from our diverse backgrounds." – Rayan, Project Manager from Sudan

"Seychelles is relatively unknown, so we saw this as a great opportunity to showcase our culture and educate others about our island. Representing our country means a lot to us." – Nathaniella

"Today, we're excited to focus on our culinary delights, especially ‘alouda,’- a refreshing drink made with milk, syrup, chia seeds, and jelly. We’re also showcasing our savoury crepes, a favourite treat during teatime. At the same time, anyone visiting will get to experience our local Mauritian tea, a true taste of home!”- Chetana Munbodh

“Many Arab countries can trace a significant part of their heritage, through their tribes, back to Yemen. I feel very proud of this origin. Additionally, Yemen has made unique contributions to the world, such as the famous 'mocha' coffee, named after the port city of Mokha, and Yemeni Sidr honey, which is considered as one of the finest in the world.” - Ghufran

"Even without understanding the songs, students sang and danced together, showing how events like this foster unity. I noticed how proud representatives were to introduce their countries, highlighting both the uniqueness and the similarities between cultures." - Swafaa

The "Around the World" event truly embodied the theme of "Unity in Diversity," showcasing how differences can inspire and unite us. The event encapsulated the sense of pride and belonging that each student feels for their homeland.  It fostered mutual respect and tolerance towards each other. With its rich multicultural community, Taylor’s University gave students a platform to celebrate their heritage. Representing one’s homeland is a source of deep pride, a sentiment that shone brightly through the vibrant and creative booths.

        - Abraham Lincoln, 16th president of the United States

An important lesson that must be learned for the betterment of our lives, is that health and happiness transcend all material wealth. Even happiness cannot pertain without the pre-existence of good health, if not a great one. When American philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote, "The first wealth is health,” in his 1860 archives, the essence of that claim needs to be dissected clearly to understand its applications in conventional living. Emerson's century-old quote, cited by Harvard economist and health expert David E. Bloom in Finance and Development's lead article, reminds us that good health is the foundation of building—a life, a community and an economy (Hayden, 2014). 

The Active Ageing Lab is dedicated to promoting a fulfilling and meaningful life for senior citizens in their golden years. Striving to research and implement innovative approaches that empower older adults to lead active, engaged, and meaningful lives.

A thoughtful initiative by the Taylor’s Impact Labs Community, in collaboration with notable companies in their respective fields, namely Aham Capital, Assunta Hospital, KPJ Hospital and Allianz Bank, was held recently at Taylor’s Lakeside campus. The event aimed to effectively spread awareness of the importance of being active throughout our lives, with a special emphasis on maintaining activity during later years. Attendees were warmly welcomed by a bustling and lively atmosphere featuring game booths and complimentary medical check-up stations. A more befitting description of the event would be “your typical neighbourhood community gathering” where everybody spent their time mingling, sharing insights and discovering helpful resources. One of the event’s highlights would undoubtedly be the olden-days camera, sponsored by Allianz Bank for the photo booth, which added a fun and memorable twist to the experience.  

Dr. Lee Chung Wah has been working in the field of psychiatry for over 10 years and has served in many regions around Klang Valley & Sabah. Centering his talk about dementia, Dr Lee expanded the discussion into deciphering Alzheimer's disease, the intricacies of dementia and also a personal struggle concerning his mother’s battle with the condition. A notable takeaway from his speech was about meditation as a preventative measure. A study led by a researcher from the University College London in 2022, finds that an 18-month meditation routine improves attention and socio-emotional regulation capacities in people aged 65 (Chételat, Lutz, Klimecki, 2022). 

Assunta Hospital, one of the oldest medical facilities in Malaysia, had been present at the event to offer their complimentary yet, top quality medical check-ups for attendees. At the booth, an array of medical equipment was arranged to facilitate easy and efficient health screenings, including BMI checks and BP checks. To get a deeper insight, I had the opportunity to interview the hospital’s head of marketing, Ms Theresa Yu who shared that one of the key highlights at their booth was the ASSISS charity fund, a program designed to make medical aid accessible to those in need. Ms Yu also stressed on taking a self-initiative approach to health, urging seniors to "step out of their comfort zones" and avoid being constricted to their mundane lifestyles. "Don't put yourself in a cube," she said, highlighting the need for individuals to embrace new experiences and prioritise their health before problems arise. 

I was also fortunate to meet with the Public Relations Executive at KPJ Hospital, Ms Syarifah Aini, who expressed her heartfelt enthusiasm for the Active Ageing Fest. Apart from the usual BP and BMI screenings, Ms Aini and her team also offered pancreatic assessments, glucose and cholesterol checks and dietetic consultations. Ms Aini found the event to be refreshing and interactive and effectively fostered a sense of community, bridging the generational gap and encouraging younger individuals to connect with older adults in meaningful ways. 

One of the attendees, Ms Santa, a 70-year-old woman, expressed her excitement to be a part of the event. Being a homemaker for almost 50 years, Ms Santa claimed that her routine lifestyle has sort of etched itself into a habitual path, which she finds difficult to grow out of—a challenge for many Asian women unfortunately. It is individuals like this, that events such as the Active Ageing Fest work best for.

The student volunteers brought vibrant energy and fresh perspectives to the table, which is essential in the developmental stages of the event’s preparation. Israa Tahir, currently studying interior architecture dedicated her time to this event because she believes that age shouldn’t limit one’s willingness to try new things, and the notion that it has the power to define one’s interest was greatly challenged. She shared stories about her enjoyment of being a part of the event, from preparing 200 goodie bags to working on the interactive canvas mural and the yoga session. Mandy, who was also assisting the same booth, said that her participation in the event gave her valuable experience that is not typically offered in her digital marketing course. 

Rutba, a Biomedical Science student, gave her insightful thoughts on the modern practices of age control or age reversal which she found problematic and unnatural. She added that people should seek more natural, genuine techniques for mitigating health problems and signs of ageing, as it is not necessarily inevitable. I personally resonated with her sentiments, as we live in a world where such superficial practices are at arm’s reach, especially to the vulnerable divisions of our community like teenagers and young adults. 

As the Active Ageing Fest came to a close, it left an indelible mark on the attendees and volunteers, including myself. The beauty of the event was how it implicitly and explicitly illustrates the concept of ageing as something more than just a fleeting phase of life, but rather an opportunity that opens new doors for growth, joy and tranquillity. This was brilliantly achieved, as attendees left with more than just goodie bags and gift vouchers. They left the event space with a renewed sense of purpose, a reminder that everyone possesses the potential to lead vibrant and fulfilling lives, and it's a matter of whether we choose to embrace it or not.

Illustration by Emelyne (@youth_of_november)

 “3… 2… 1… Blast off!” went through my mind when I saw this year’s Club and Societies (CnS) Festival’s theme. This year’s festival was held on the grounds of the Taylor’s Amphitheatre or as I’d like to call it, the heart of campus. Rows and rows of club and societies’ booths as well as external vendors selling jewelry, food, and all kinds of other things filled the SLC walkway. The atmosphere was buzzing with excitement and I could not help but feel thrilled.  

 

I didn’t know where to begin. Should I dive into the bustling crowd, searching for the perfect club to join? Or should I cool off with a cup of iced coffee worth only three Ringgit Malaysia (RM)? Yes, you read that right—only three Ringgit Malaysia. Best deal ever!  

 

Even after being in Taylor’s for over a year, I will never miss a chance to visit the CnS Fest as it captivates me every time. I try to join a new club or society at each festival to stay involved in a lot of activities. When you leave the CnS Festival, you’ll likely feel torn between all the clubs and societies you want to be a part of. If you’re anything like me, with an interest in a little bit of everything, be prepared to feel overwhelmed by all the cool sports clubs like the Golf Club or niche gems like the Barista Club for the coffee lovers—there’s something for everyone!  

 

I got the chance to catch a performance by our very own cheerleading team, the Python’s! The name fits them perfectly as they are fierce yet beautiful. The routine was so cool, leaving me in total awe. If you are into K-Pop like I am, I hope you caught the K-Gen dance team performing their own K-Pop dance cover. ‘Amazing!’ was the only word running through my mind.  

 

Walking through the festival felt like I was navigating a lively, crowded desert. There were students at every booth eager to explore clubs they were interested in. Cheers erupted as prizes were won at booths, while laughter and chatter filled the air. Even though the crowd was packed like sardines, I enjoyed seeing everyone smiling.  

 

In the end, the CnS Festival was, as always, a highlight of my time at Taylor’s. It's not just about the clubs you join or the performances you watch—it’s about the experience of being part of a vibrant, dynamic community. Whether you’re signing up for a new club or simply soaking in the energy of the event, there's something to pique everyone’s interest For me, it’s an annual opportunity to explore, connect, and be inspired. I can't wait to see what the next festival brings! 

While bustling cities often take the spotlight, it's the stories of rural women, their unwavering determination, and their contributions that deserve our attention.

The 15th of October is also known as the International Day of Rural Women. This day was first celebrated in 2008, a day to acknowledge the contributions of rural women to their communities and the global economy, and to celebrate the critical role that rural women play in agriculture, food production and rural development.  

Rural women make up around 43% of the global agricultural workforce. They contribute to agriculture enterprises, whether it be as farmers or entrepreneurs, while being responsible for their households. This includes taking care of the children and the elderly. 

Women from indigenous communities are often also custodians of traditional knowledge, which is essential for their communities’ livelihood and culture. From the production of crops, to distributing foods, rural women’s labour—paid or unpaid—feeds their families, communities, and the world. Yet, somehow, they do not wield equal power to men.

Despite their crucial role in the economy and society, women and girls in rural areas continue to face the many gender-based discriminatory challenges they encounter. Here are two of the many obstacles they go through on a daily basis:

What is period poverty? Period poverty describes the inaccessibility of menstrual products and proper sanitation facilities. This also includes the lack of awareness or education about menstruation.

In rural areas, a lot of young girls do not have access to reliable and correct information regarding their reproductive health and rights, thus giving way to myths and misconceptions. Many adolescent girls believed they were dying or ill during their first period. And due to the cultural shame and shortage of resources, it has led to a lot of girls in rural areas to stop going to school as they don’t have sanitary pads, thus the blood stains their uniform and they can’t bear the shame.

Social taboo also leads to rural women cleaning reusable menstrual products under unsanitary conditions, which could increase their risk of infection, or even cervical cancer. The stigma associated with menstruation has led to poor hygiene among a large section of rural women who use leaves, newspaper and other such materials instead of sanitary pads when on their periods.

For generations, conversations about menstrual health have been obscured by a culture of silence. A first step to overcome period poverty is by breaking the silence so that young girls are able to access reliable information on menstruation in a safe manner, without feeling ashamed of it.

There exists an unsettling truth: the stark gender pay gap persists. Rural women continue to earn significantly less than their male counterparts, not because they work less, but because the work they do is not valued accordingly. 

Discriminatory norms and expectations, limited access to education and training opportunities, and lack of representation in decision-making processes all contribute to this disparity. This inequality not only deprives rural women of fair compensation for their tireless efforts, but also perpetuates a cycle of gender-based economic vulnerability. 

So, why does gender equality in rural areas matter? Well, it is well proven that educating and providing women with opportunities to take part in skilled paid employment provides benefits to their families and communities in the form of lowered fertility rates, decreased child mortality, improved child health and nutrition, and improved levels of education for children.

Empowering women as producers and entrepreneurs also enables them to safeguard the environment and natural resources while supporting sustainable growth for rural development. For example, since the successful prototyping of a solar dryer, women are processing agricultural produce into higher-value products with longer shelf life.

Rural women in Malaysia are associated with a low level of education and low participation in the workforce, and the traditional role of rural women as housewives is still pretty much apparent. However, times are changing.

The Penans, one of Borneo’s indigenous tribes, are one of the last remaining nomadic communities in Malaysia and still inhabit the rainforest. The Miri Women Weaving Association, established in 2016, takes a leading role in training Penan women in modern economic practices, and advocating for formal education for their children.

We also cannot deny the significance of entrepreneurial activity fuelled by the hard work of rural women in Malaysia, as it acts as a catalyst for economic growth while promoting gender empowerment. However, to this day, they face numerous barriers and challenges such as inadequate infrastructure and market access despite their immense potential. 

In the heart of our rural communities, the strength and resilience of women shine like beacons. These women are not only the backbone of rural economies, but also the custodians of invaluable knowledge and traditions. Therefore, as we celebrate the role of rural women, it is imperative that we continue to advocate for their rights. 

By empowering and uplifting rural women through education and access to resources, we not only strengthen the backbone of our country but also ensure a better future for all Malaysians. 

Hi, it's me again, 

can you believe it's 23? I'm 23, 

I remember I fell in love in my glorious 20,

I'm still in love 

I try not to see his photographs

And when I don't, 

I love him even more.

I'm still in love 

I'm still there 

In 20 and a 20,

August, really slipped away like sipping wine, 

September, what will it bring to me?

I had clutched to the hope, 

desperate, adamant, that the other half of it will be different

here I am, as slow as a snail, slithering away, 

dragging my water, dragging my bag of bones, 

dragging my head with it 

oh so heavy, 

that head of hers,

dense and a ball of yarn and 

words written on scratched words, 

the paper underneath tearing away 

beneath all that weight of ink,

Will winter be kind to me?

No, I don't want to go in,

to 24,

24 hours is way too short,

for her neuroses, for the older daughter, 

for a girl about to cry.

God, oh god, I waste your name in vain, 

but are you even there?

I'm, after all, only a speck of dust, 

See me, value me, love me?

Begging all the way through, 

My spirit withering away like the burnt brick leaves, 

Paint me a picture, will you?

She's in a dress in maroon, a beret for the season, 

a scarf? Maybe, only for a statement, 

sweater weather still some miles away, 

an Auburn walkway, 

rusty, crusty, cracking leaves, 

the scent of fall? Can you sniff it? 

And she's falling away, 

not apart, 

in love, dipping marshmallows in hot chocolate,

and her mind? It's quiet, not uncomfortable, just quiet.

In my memories you are always autumn–

golden like when the sun goes down

winds like an airplane sweeping near in noon

leaves scattering like snowflakes in fall.

My first taste of you was autumn,

what a season, I’d thought,

when it’d been too warm for hot tea,

yet too cold for iced. 

When we’d walk the park pathways

watch the squirrels play tag,

look for large piles of swept leaves

to undo one’s futile work. 

Time flew in autumn’s way;

like a plane in the sky–

a crawl and yet a sprint. 

I look at the suitcases by my feet

years of my life packed up in a box

where’d the time go? 

Like autumn you come too late

and like it, I’m gone too soon

but like autumn I know;

that inevitably you will return to me

and I to you.

Orange is the colour of fallen leaves.

The colour of the sky as the sun dips across the horizon blue.

The colour of his scarf. You breathe.

Bright orange, he stands out as he reads over Sunset Avenue.

The seasons change. A leaf brushes across his face.

“Have we met?” The stranger across the avenue says.

“I’m sure we’ve not.”

They fall in line as they talk.

 

“Orange is just a phase,” he says. “Eventually, the skies turn blue, and the leaves become gold.”

“They say they change for the better,” yYou mention. “Or so I’m told.”

“Well,” he quips, “Nothing gold lasts forever.”

Pieces fall into place, in his mind. There’ is nothing that doesn’t make sense with him.

You laugh. “You’re sure?”

(In hindsight, a lot could have been said on a whim.)

 

The days grow shorter, and the nights grow longer.

He wants to become a lawyer.

Each fall, the exams pile in, and he struggles to keep up. “It’s hell.”

You want to be nothing at all. There’ is so much to be done, and so little time to do it, you say.

“Maybe so,” he mentions, picking at an orange leaf from the ground, fraying brown at the edges. “But we might as well.”

“The time will pass anyway.”

 

The leaves wither, and the grass fades into a shade of gold.

Even the strongest branches give way in time.

I don’t mind if you’re not by my side.

If I never see you again, maybe you’ll forget me, after all.

She pulled me into La Petite Maison 

Pouted and begged, "Let's please eat first!"

Her legs skipped steps and made mine jump

the spark in her eyes

the swing in my hands 

carrot cake - my very first time, 

I died and went to heaven,

The salt at the bottom of my caramel coffee 

like the salt in the ocean air,

frolicked all around me

on a cool dawn at the beach to watch the sunrise, 

the way I can feel the fresh coldness yet to be wintry 

on a school morning in October,

like I can smell the winter coming

Cinnamon eyes, liquid, translucent, with a bit of burnt orange in them

I never got to greet them again

but that day, my eyes met his thrice

in a tangerine dream

under a sky that was humming crisp little notes 

from the birds coming home

I wanted to dip my scarlet scarf in a cup of pumpkin spice latte and stain my dress 

and yell, "Look! I think I'm in love"

I let my hands twirl

let my mind dance

asked myself, 

if I really were a mirrorball in a rollerblading club

sad! Don't think of those wild melancholies!

But it reminds me of the orange juice box

bittersweet, 

like falling in love

like leaving school

like saying goodbye to your folks

I'm about to fly

and I feel this sickening sweetness at the bottom of my heart 

bittersweet.

I went back there again

they asked, "Where's your friend today?"

I said, "It's only me today"

and on the train back home  

I wondered if people could tell,

the silent cry in my eyes

the screeching screams in my cheeks

the rock stuck in my throat, 

how the misery comes undone on my face 

when I see people in love.

The sun dips below the horizon of summer

and gives way to leaves of burnt sienna,

the dread of returning to school

seeps through skin like autumn’s chill.

The autumn sun is dimmer, cooler,

it slacks on its oath to mother nature.

The dread of being played as a fool

chills the air before snow brings cool.

The air bubbles with children’s laughter

and streets are swarmed in wrappers,

discarded like summer’s joy and warmth

but contrary to belief, never fully gone.

The hanging tree and lovers’ bridge

are spared not a look despite the itch -

hotlines begin to look understaffed

but you won’t ring if you can still laugh.

Call your brother, tell mama you love her.

They’ll give thanks for you as you do for others.

The lonely chill must rise before falling,

just as you must crawl before walking.