In the last article, the writer explored how sexual harassment can take huge toll on the survivors’ mental health and what are some of the signs we should spot for the people close to us who may not disclose their sexual harassment experiences. In this article, the writer will talk about how victim blaming can further worsen the issue and what we should do when survivors do tell us their incident. 

    In recent years, the topic of mental health has been discussed in the media in shows some of us are familiar with - Sex Education and 13 Reasons Why. As these shows rise in popularity, more individuals are beginning to be aware and respectful towards each other’s mental well-being. We see real-life reflections of how youths get affected and deal with cases of sexual harassment and abuse. Although the life of Hannah Baker was heart-breaking to watch, that is the extreme extent of how mental health impacts a sexually harassed and abused survivor in reality. “The perpetrator did not get arrested because he comes from a wealthy family. There are many other shows where the perpetrators are always off the hook. When children see this, they may think what is the point of lodging a report if justice is not served?” 

    Victim blaming is an act whereby the survivor is held at fault and accountable for the tragedies that befell onto them. Sexual harassment survivors tend to get blamed rather than their perpetrators for what has happened. Oftentimes, we can see victim blaming occur in the media. Infamous questions and statements circulating on how the survivors would be dressing, places they would go and even the people they were spending their time with. These statements or questions oppresses the survivors further, keeping them quiet as they would fear backlash from the society. As the media reflects the act of victim blaming, survivors or anyone who consumes these media will tend to believe that they are at fault. 

    Over time, the cases the media has shown or has gained massive audiences has conditioned us to believe that if we speak up, we will not get help. That is the wrong perception. Ashwini brought about the patriarchal society we live in today. “From a young age, women are told to cover up. Boys will be boys and they can do anything. Women should obey men. So when a woman gets harassed, the society thinks it is normal, it is her fault and she deserves it,” elaborated Ashwini. 

    Instead, here are some steps we should take note of when a survivor discloses his/her ordeal to you according to Ashwini: 

The survivor does not need added distress so be as calm as possible. Be there for them and do not be judgemental. If a survivor discloses to you, it means that they trust you enough to open up. 

Especially towards a child, acknowledge them by thanking them for their courage. This way, you are not only showing support but also giving reassurance that it is alright to get help and opening up. Ashwini highlights to also inform survivors of helpful services such as hotlines to call if one were to have suicidal thoughts. 

If a survivor were to explain what has happened to them, they might go under a panic attack. We have to bring them back to the present. There are several techniques Ashwini mentioned, “Holding something hard in their hand, asking them how it feels like. Does it feel cold or warm in your hands? So, the more they talk about it, the anxiety would dissipate. Even asking them what they see around them. Give me five things you see around you and so on.” 

Be around whenever they need help on areas like following them to school or picking them up from work. 

Write as much information down after they have disclosed to you. At times, survivors can forget due to the trauma. By writing these down, lodging a report or speaking to professional help would help ease the process. 

Sexual harassment can occur in all situations, whether it is at your workplace, school or even in public. Despite that, Malaysia does not have a specific law that targets sexual harassment which often leads to reports of sexual harassment not being taken seriously or completely disregarded. The Sexual Harassment Bill has been in the works for the past 20 years and aims to protect all survivors regardless of gender, race and background. Let’s step up and use our voice to ensure that this bill gets tabled at the parliament this November! The petition can be found here. AWAM currently has garnered over 16,000 e-signatures, BUT the traditional Paper Petition is what gets this cause heard in Parliament. YOUR help is needed to amplify the Rakyat’s call for our MPs to address sexual harassment head-on‼️ Follow these steps to sign the paper petition: 

1. Get in touch with AWAM via Instagram @awammalaysia or call them at 0378774221 to get your copy of the petition. 

2. Sign the Petition. Remember to include your IC number, address and full name 📝 

3. Send the petition back to AWAM! You have 2 options for this depending on where you stay📬📫 

*The paper petition is open to Malaysians ONLY. But remember, the Sexual Harassment Act is for everyone! 

*The 2nd image ‘How to send it back’ has a mistake. Petitions sent via PosLaju must be mailed before 16th November).