✧ L U N A S T A R ✧ | By Sirinda
Illustration by | Sheryl, Sandahi & Jessica P Riekert.
Trigger warning: Violence.
Destruction and chaos far from the stars | Photo by Andrea Perng Xin Yie.
I look up to the stars and wonder how life was like before. Before the destruction, havoc and the emptiness of it all. I am Zhaneliade Alissier. Well, that’s who I am now. I found out I was Emma Madison before. Cliché, like a MyScene Doll. Similarly, I have no recollection about who my parents are. Nor do I know how I got to my planet, Lunastar. Here, the stars blanket the sky. It is difficult to tell apart truth from untruth, such as telling apart satellites from stars.
Who am I? Where did I come from? Did I have a family? I need to learn the truth about my past.
I have a distant memory of us arriving in pods built to keep us in cryosleep. In the days after waking up on Lunastar, I browsed through my collection of books and found one titled Earth and Humanity. It talks about the planet Earth. The book says that humans were saved from the planet’s collapse that happened 2000 years ago. I’d asked my friends if they remember this, but I think the Celestials had wiped their minds. The Celestials are rulers of Lunastar; they have been here since the dawn of time. Some call them gods, others, titans. But no one has ever seen a Celestial. There are only statues of them: three towering figures, human-like, sitting on their thrones.
Since then, like a person obsessed, I’ve been scouring the station for any clue about my past.
But not today. I have chores this morning—it’s my turn for cleaning duty. Every member of the Luna station has to pull their own weight, myself included. At breakfast, I scan my gold band before entering the cafeteria. Today’s meal is oats with fruits and orange juice.
Alexis is nothing but a great friend to me. Previously, I saw her in a deep conversation with the station captain; her lips were mouthing my name. I was puzzled, but I didn’t think too hard about it.
Alexis gestures for me to come over to her table. I walk to her; smiling, she passes me a lemonade which I gulp down eagerly. But something tingles at the back of my senses. The drink tastes a little too fizzy. Just as I think to comment on the funny taste, darkness crowds in on my vision. I am no longer in the cafeteria.
The next time I wake up, the door at the end of the room opens, and a woman with a white coat walks in.
“You’re finally awake,” the woman says with a sly smile.
“Don’t touch me!” I yell, flinching. My throat feels raw, as though I’ve swallowed sand.
In the distance, I see a brown-haired girl with a similar coat walk in. Her coat is as white as the sterile room I am in—blinding, forcing me to squint. I can’t hear properly, but I can still recognise my best friend.
“Did you run the DNA and extraction tests?” Alexis asks the doctor.
I look at her, confused, betrayed, and mostly, filled with rage.
I brace myself for the worst. What is this? A torture chamber? Hypnosis?
“Zhanel, you’re safe,” says a familiar voice. Round face, soft eyes. Alexis. “Don’t worry.”
I try to shout, but no words come. I feel paralyzed. My limbs are encased in stone. My heart is burning with insanity. I want to scream at Alexis, but I don’t know how to scream at the best friend I trusted. I feel my body palpitating. Soon, tears roll down my face onto a suit they had forced on me.
I look up at Alexis with tears in my eyes. Grief engulfs me. This is a torture chamber.
“I’m doing this for a good reason, Zhanel,” she says, linking her pinky finger with mine.
My breath quivers. I see Alexis, dressed in the same lab coat and this time armed with a loaded gun. She aims right at my head. There is no look of remorse, only pure determination. She raises her weapon. This is it, I think. This is the end. The last thing I remember is how black that gun looks—a haunting, dark black—before I drown in my own abyss.
Then, miraculously, I am awake. This is the deck room.
I lie still in bed. The smell of sanitizer pricks my senses. Softly, I hear a girl’s voice reading. I would know that voice anywhere—Alexis. Realising I’m awake, she leans over me. I am still drowsy.
Alexis starts talking for what feels like hours. Perhaps it is her voice, gentle like a balm, that makes me believe her story. Or that my mind is so exhausted, I am willing to believe anything, so long as it sounds true. I met the Celestials, she says. They’re not who you think they are. They’re good people. You remember too much, Zhanel, and that remembrance was driving you mad. Earth is gone; if you don’t let it go, you’ll go insane. The Celestials helped with that. Your past won’t haunt you anymore. I am here. I love you. You’re gonna be fine.
I close my eyes, push out a breath. Alexis’ words wash over me like a wave—except I don’t know what waves are like. I’ve only read about them in books. They belong in the distant past, a non-existent world.
“We’re safe now,” Alexis whispers, and links her pinky finger with mine. I try to say something, to reassure her, but once again, I fall into that dark abyss of sleep.
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