“Why couldn’t he just tell the truth?” This is a common question asked by people who were lied to. For the hurt, it is a question worth thinking about. Why do you lie? What is your purpose of lying? Would you benefit from it? Or was it a lie at the spur of the moment? If you could take it back, would you? 

Although we have been told that lying is morally wrong ever since we could understand, it is still common for us to lie, whether it be for the greater good or for personal gain. We can go as far as to deceive ourselves and others. However, different people have different reasons for lying and lies come in all shapes and magnitudes. As such, it is hard to pinpoint each and everyone’s motivations. 

Prominently, people lie because of fear. People’s fear of punishment is often the main reason why they lie. By lying, they are able to take the easy way out of difficult situations that may ultimately wound them into trouble. Being human, it is a natural reflex for people to distance themselves away from faults by lying. In fact, it is even common among children as they tend to lie in order to get out of trouble and punishments. As Tad Williams said, “We tell lies when we are afraid…afraid of what we don’t know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, (what) we fear grows stronger.” Although we tread carefully, lying is a sticky situation. 

Lying is another means for others to obtain what they want. In extreme terms, this can be a form of manipulation. Often, the one being lied to has their clarity clouded and cannot distinguish or judge what is accurate and fake. Ultimately, they become confused, fooled and cheated without knowing it themselves. For the liar, he or she achieves their hidden agenda and therefore, succeeds in their conviction, whatever the topic. Chronic liars, especially ones that lie to fluff their social status or appear more appealing, usually would not see their lies as harmful. Due to the buff and luster they polish on themselves by one-upping their social standing, they disregard the foolery they make of you. 

It is said that if a person lies to avoid hurting other people’s feelings, then that particular lie would not be considered as manipulative and harmful. In some cases, a person would be able to control a particular situation from worsening by telling a lie. Many people would find that a simple “everything’s going to be alright” can be really comforting even though they might not be so sure of it but, knowing that someone is there is a consolation undiscounted. Sometimes, people would think that it is necessary to lie to convince those who are hurt that their pain is temporary. However, as much as the lie was told for a good cause, it may still lead to misunderstandings in certain situations. Comfort can only be a short-term result and is never really a solution. It probably will be better if consolation or comfort can be done using alternative methods other than lying or stretching the truth. One should find the balance of giving support and at the same time being sensitive to what the other party is feeling because lying is truly unfair to the person being lied to.