“It's Okay To Be Not Okay”: A Mental Health Workshop By Fortitude 2020 | By Tiffany Chan
For many, “The pandemic is driving me crazy” isn’t just a figure of speech anymore. The National Health and Morbidity Survey (NHMS) shows that in Malaysia alone, around half a million people experience depression, while more than 400 cases of suicide have been reported between January and June this year. That’s about two cases each day.
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Official event poster for “It’s Okay
To Be Not Okay”. Source: Fortitude 2020 on Facebook. |
These harrowing statistics prove how severe and urgent mental health problems are. Hence, on the afternoon of November 14, Fortitude 2020 organized a workshop to raise awareness for mental health, help people face their emotions and achieve better wellbeing. Fortitude is a group of Taylor’s students who have collaborated with industry experts on this webinar.
Among its many successes, “It’s Okay To Be Not Okay” excelled in creating a safe space for attendees to be as they are. While acknowledging the severity of the issue, Fortitude maintained a light atmosphere throughout the programme, making participants feel comfortable and welcomed.
Living up to its claim of working with industry experts, the workshop saw notable speakers such as clinical psychologist Andrea Clark, illustrator and designer Beatrice Oh, as well as mindfulness and life skills facilitator Petrina Eger. Hosted by Jane Law, the event began with fun ice-breaking games, followed by the first speaker’s session.
Giving and Seeking Help by Andrea Clark
According to Ms Clark, the reason why mental health issues are still so pervasive today is not because people are unaware of it, but because we do not know how exactly to seek and give help.
“Sometimes we think that people commit suicide without trigger warnings. But more often than not, there are other help-seeking behaviours that people tend to miss,” said Ms Clark. She went on to list several signs someone may be experiencing mental health problems that we should look out for:
- Talking about feeling like a burden, hopelessness, worthlessness, meaninglessness of life.
- Giving away personal possessions or making after-death plans. (eg. “If anything happens to me, please take care of my dog.”)
- Frequent talks of death, making remarks of self-harm, isolation from others.
- Engaging in risky behaviours. (eg. Casual sex, alcohol, drugs, reckless driving)
- Drastic changes in mood and behaviour, displaying extreme mood swings.
While many of us may have genuinely good intentions, Ms Clark says there are actually wrong ways to help someone with mental health struggles.
The Wrong Ways to Help
1. Minimising or invalidating one’s struggles
“Don’t tell them: ‘I’ve been through this before, it’s fine. Just get over it. You think you have it bad? Others have it worse.’ They already know these things and don’t need to hear them,” Ms Clark warned. “Things are just bad for them at the moment, and they really need someone to talk to.”
But what if you’re the one whose struggles are being minimized?
“How do I talk to my parents who belittle my mental health problems?” asked an audience member.
“I believe that if you increase your own understanding of mental illnesses, and help your parents understand that these are real problems, you can start having conversations about mental health,” Ms Clark replied. “You can try saying, ‘Maybe you don’t see it as important as I do, but this is what I’m struggling with.”
2. Preaching about right and wrong
Another thing one should never do is tell the other: “You shouldn’t do this or that”.
“People with mental health issues do know what is right and wrong,” Ms Clark affirmed. “They are very aware. But sometimes, things are just too overwhelming for them.”
3. Isolating or leaving them alone
It’s true that most people just want to be left alone, and while we should 100% respect their privacy, the most important thing we can do as supporters is to let others know we are here for them. We don’t have to be with them 24/7. Just a simple text saying: “Hey, I noticed you’re a little down lately. What’s wrong?” can go a long way.
The Right Ways to Help
According to Ms Clark, listening can never go wrong. Talk to your loved ones, ask them questions. Reassure them that they are not alone. But of course, not all of us have the time or expertise to help those who are struggling. That is why it’s important to refer them to mental health professionals, such as those who work at Relate Malaysia.
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Ways to start a conversation to offer help. Credit: Andrea Clark. |
Therapeutic Doodling and Storytelling by Beatrice Oh
After Ms Clark’s informational speech, it was time for the attendees to throw on their creative hats for a fun doodling session. Led by none other than the talented Beatrice Oh (@ohbeatricee), a full time illustrator and designer based in KL, the audience learned how to draw adorable illustrations of themselves or someone they care about.
“But what does drawing have to do with mental health?” you may be wondering. Well, just take a look at the cute, tiny portraits drawn by Beatrice and the audience members. It’ll be sure to make you smile!
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| The process of drawing a simple portrait.
Credit: Beatrice Oh |
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Doodles from everyone! |
But in all seriousness, doodling has been proven to have health benefits, such as stress relief and improving one’s mood. The simplistic art style taught by Ms Oh not only made it easy for the audience to follow, it also showed that life can be simple, if we choose to perceive it that way.
“Don’t take life too seriously, not everything needs to be perfect,” said Ms Oh. “Take things one step at a time—that is all you need to do for the rest of your life.”
Mindfulness Session: Making Friends With Your Emotions by Petrina Eger
An avid mindfulness practitioner herself, Taylor’s University’s Life Skills facilitator Petrina Eger talked about how the practice can benefit one’s mental health. According to Ms Eger, mindfulness is all about taking a look inside ourselves to understand what emotions we’re feeling.
“Just like how we can’t have daylight without nighttime, we can’t just have the emotions we enjoy,” she said with an infectious calmness. “All of our emotions are important and valid. We should not beat ourselves up for feeling unpleasant emotions.
“All of our emotions serve different purposes,” she continued. “They’re there to keep us safe, to show us where our needs are not being met. And so, it’s perfectly okay to feel whatever way you’re feeling.”
In order to understand your emotions, Ms Eger said it’s important to acknowledge them.
In order to understand your emotions, Ms Eger said it’s important to acknowledge them.
“Acknowledging means giving it a name. For example, ‘I’m feeling _____ right now.’” she explained. You’d be surprised to see how much a simple act like that can do for you.
Ms Eger then led the audience in a brief mindfulness session. With a soothing voice, she instructed them to pay attention to their senses, before breathing in and out while noticing their individual breaths.
“Really ask yourself this question,” she said as everyone had their eyes closed. “‘How am I right now?’ There’s no right or wrong way to feel,” she continued. “It’s okay. It’s okay to feel this way.”
“Mindfulness helps us acknowledge our repressed emotions,” Ms Eger added before ending her session. “It gives us the power to choose what we want to do with these emotions. Whatever I’m feeling, that’s okay. The question is: What do I want to do next?”
It’s Really Okay To Be Not Okay
As its name suggests, the workshop left attendees with a simple yet important message: There’s nothing wrong with being not okay. In a year filled with so much turmoil, this event gracefully sheds light on one of the most stigmatized and widespread issues in the world—mental health.
Resources for Getting Help
Befrienders
Tel: 03-76272929
Skype: BefKL Skype 1
Talian Kasih
Call: 15999
Women’s Aid Organization
Hotline: 03 7956 3488 (24 hours)
SMS/WhatsApp TINA: 018-988 8058 (24 hours)
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