On his 53rd birthday, Tunku Abdul Rahman had our entire country’s wishes and expectations placed upon his shoulders as he would be signing the independence agreement in London. On Valentine’s Day, a small portion of taken individuals will experience a fragment of the unimaginable weight Tunku Abdul Rahman withstood that day. Due to the unrealistic dating ideals showcased in Rom-Com films and social media, a mountain-high and unattainable expectation is being set for those planning a date. Frustrations that plague the mind on this day are: where should we go? What should I give my date? What should we talk about? This infographic shows that breakups between couples occur more frequently on the days following Valentine’s Day. How ironic. Just as psychologist Jonathan Fader said, “Setting expectations so high can set us up for disappointment when reality doesn’t match up to these unrealistic hopes.”

    All of Me by John Legend has become a legendary song that is constantly replayed during this special day of love. Valentine’s Day gives the sense that it is the only day we can express our love to our partners, when in reality, it should be an everyday thing. Just like in Legend’s song, we ought to be giving our all to our loved ones everyday. By spotlighting Valentine’s Day as the magical day of hearts, we ironically gain the opposite effect as the actions of love done today will be seen as ingenuine, merely the fulfillment of something expected out of you.

    Amongst the list of over-commercialised holidays, Valentine’s Day tops the list every year. In fact, along with the Taiwanese, Malaysia is the fourth biggest spender on Valentine’s Day in Asia-Pacific, just a step behind Hong Kong, China and Singapore with the average of RM730 for 401 MasterCard users spent on buying gifts. The commercialising doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon either. Over the past 10 years, the average American’s spendings on Valentine’s Day has increased by $60. The monetizing of love places the focus on materialism instead of the actual values that matter: attention and care. Valentine’s Day should be a day of love and affection, not one to appease corporate greed.

The RM1s and RM5s left in your pocket after Valentine's Day.  Photo: Liau Kah Man.

    Am I saying that Valentine’s Day has no boons, only banes? No. There are plenty of good things that come with it too. For example, this day could be used to reflect upon your relationship and compatibility with your partner. Besides, Valentine’s Day is great for florists and gift shops alike. Not only is it good for business, it is a day for them to challenge their creative boundaries by creating extraordinary bouquets and unique gifts (some of which can be really useful!).

    Nevertheless, it really does feel unnecessary to have this holiday. It is chaotic, expensive and depressing for some, stressful and disappointing for most. As previously mentioned, the act of love can be shown on any other day. In fact, any act of love could mean so much more if it was done on a normal day. Imagine walking home and seeing flowers and candles on the table, or a box of chocolates without the corny messages. Unexpected lovely actions to ignite a seemingly normal day. Wouldn’t it be nicer to know that your partner was doing it out of genuine love instead of “It’s Valentine's day so I ought to spend more than a few hundred on gifts, food and such”?

    So what are you waiting for? If you have a partner, surprise them with gifts or a message of love! It doesn’t have to be Valentine’s Day to do so. Remind them that they deserve your full love and attention, all 365 days of the year.