by @charlottelkaix

In this life, we encounter people we like and people we don’t. Some have a way of seeing the world just as we do, while others have perspectives that clash entirely with our own. When we meet those we connect with somewhere along the personal plane, we tend to find that friendships form.

Many of these friendships bring long-lasting value and joy to our lives, but others change and fade with the passing of the years. Embracing this change is crucial; resisting it only makes it harder.

Have your friendships started to fade or shift in ways that feel confusing, or even painful?

Is a friend you once loved slowly turning into someone unfamiliar?

These changes can feel scary, even disorienting — but they’re also a natural part of growing. Life is constantly moving, reshaping, and so are we. Everything around us is always becoming something new. And that includes our friendships.

If your friendships have started to shift, the most honest thing you can do is pay attention. Accept what they are becoming, not just what they used to be.

This happens more often than not. I used to get very close with people, especially in my teens and early adulthood — sometimes whole groups that felt like a chosen family. We’d share everything, year after year, until one day the connection wasn’t quite the same. Without fights or fallouts, we started to drift. One by one, we grew apart. And when I look back, I realise there was no big moment that ended it. We simply outgrew each other.

Some of us stayed close. Others kept in touch every now and then. But most of us moved forward with our lives. No bad blood. Just… different paths.

Still, whenever this happens, there’s a part of us that wants to understand why. We start looking inward, wondering if we did something wrong. If we were too distant, too busy, or simply not enough. Or maybe we imagine they’re the ones who changed in a way we don’t recognise anymore.

As humans, we’re naturally a little insecure and a little judgmental. We want answers. But the truth is often softer than we think: it just happens. Life pulls us in different directions. We change jobs, change cities, build new routines, and meet new people. We fall in and out of love. We learn new things about ourselves. And in that process, some people stop fitting where they used to. Like a puzzle piece no longer fitting into the picture we’re assembling.

Keeping a friendship alive through all of that is hard. It takes presence, patience, and persistence on both sides. It takes a shared desire to keep showing up for each other, even when everything around you is shifting. Some friendships survive that. Others don’t.

And that’s okay.

There are people we’re better off parting ways with. Not out of resentment, but out of honesty. Because some people stay stuck in the same patterns they were in years ago. They’re not growing, not healing, not moving forward. They hold onto old drama, old identities, even old pain — and try to pull you back into it when you’ve already outgrown that version of yourself.

If you’re growing and someone else is not, the distance between you is not your fault.

As we grow, we begin to understand that not every connection is meant to last forever. Some people will only walk with you for a little while. Some were never meant to go any further than they did. That doesn’t mean they didn’t matter. And it doesn’t mean you failed.

We can’t control how others show up in our lives, or how they choose to love. And sometimes, no matter how deeply we care, we have to accept that not everyone will meet us where we are.
There’s something freeing in letting people be who they are, without trying to change or hold onto them. That’s what makes the “let them” mindset powerful — not as a cold dismissal, but as a gentle release. Let them leave if they need to. Let them stay if they want to. Let people come and go, and trust that the right ones will always find a way to meet you where you are.

Letting go doesn’t mean you never cared. It means you’re choosing peace over resistance. It means you’re not trying to hold onto something that’s already changed. It means you’re giving yourself permission to keep growing.

Some will leave quietly. Others you’ll have to walk away from with heavy steps. But either way, there is meaning in every connection — even the ones that don’t last.

There’s beauty in the fact that you shared something real with someone, even if it was only meant for a season. You gave each other good company while you could. And that counts for something.
So love them fully, even if it’s only in memory. Be kind to yourself in the act of letting go. Give yourself grace in the process. You’re allowed to miss them and still move forward.

You are in control of your peace. Let yourself grow, and let others do the same, whether or not they grow beside you. If it was meant to be different, it would’ve been. Maybe it’s for the better.

And maybe one day, you’ll understand exactly why it all happened the way it did. Till then, be kind to yourself. Time will pass anyway.